life and puppies

I’m too tired and out of it to write anything resembling a coherent post at the moment (and probably will be for a bit), but I just wanted to make a formal Life & Puppies notation that Baby Girl Sweet Potato has arrived and the three of us are healthy, happy and getting to know one another.

I really want to tell all of you all about how great Meriter was for us, how puppy got super sick the day before Baby Girl joined us, the birth story (though I sorta don’t like that phrase, but I recognize my dislike is totally irrational), the transition home, the breast revolution that began yesterday (holy big boobs! And I thought they were big before!), our baby’s noises and movements, how we’re all getting along, and a million other things. For now, though, I’ll give you a break from my elderly gravida stories and just say to you this: thanks for all of your love and support. It has meant the world. And here’s an observation, or maybe a bit of unsolicited advice: if you tell people you are thinking of naming your child Gertrude, but then you don’t, everyone will absolutely love the name you do pick.

This winter has been so odd, especially as it has hardly been winter at all. We’ve had such little snow and ice and there have been so few truly cold days. Another odd thing about it, for me, is that I’ve been preggers. Here are a few things I have learned about pregnancy or, rather, things I have learned about pregnancy and me:

• Things that other people say about pregnancy are not true for me. Ok, that’s a bit of an overstatement, but there have been several things that other people really emphasize that I have either not experienced at all or experienced in a very different way. For example, I did not really feel Baby Sweet Potato moving in there until much later than other people say they felt their babies. Whether their memories are off, I’m out of touch with my baby or some other reason, I didn’t really feel baby until much closer to 30 weeks than 20. I don’t feel bad about this anymore, and I tried hard not to feel bad about it when it was happening, but I felt like some folks were really annoying about this, pushing me, “Really? You don’t feel anything?” Oh, be quiet, I’d want to say. Are you suggesting I’m lying or are you suggesting something is wrong with the baby? Either way: Shut. It. Also, I’ve had no more cravings or revulsions than usual. Sure, I’ve said, “I really want Twizzlers!” or “I need animal crackers!” but really these are just things that I like that I feel I can say out loud because of the baby bump. Do other people really not crave things they tell themselves they shouldn’t have when they’re not pregnant? The baby bump is now more than a baby watermelon, by the way.
• It’s scary. From the beginning when we worried for weeks we might lose the baby to the scare of the numbers on the first-trimester screening test and following amniocentesis to the gestational diabetes test to everything in between and since, this pregnancy has not been lacking in its share of scary drama. While ultimately it seems we’ve been really lucky so far, the scares felt very really and the tension and stress are not something I would wish on anyone.
• Heartburn really stinks. I don’t think I’ve ever had heartburn before — or at least I had never realized I had had it — and holy wow! It is not pleasant. Once Doc Heather suggested I try Tums, my whole life changed. What a relief! I still have heartburn, but at least I have relief. And heartburn seems to come morning, noon and night – whether I have eaten or had anything to drink or not. It just keeps coming.
• Heartburn can cause wheezing. After weeks of having a bad cough and asthma that wouldn’t quit, my OB/Gyn finally apprised me (ok, I finally told her about my problems) that heartburn can cause wheezing and I should try Zantac. [Cue heavens opening music!] Another huge relief — I no longer have to cough myself to sleep. Sometimes I still wake up wheezing, but I can now sleep again and have stopped bruising muscles or ribs with my incessant coughing. Hallelujah.
• Parts of me I never knew I had have started to hurt — my pelvis and other items ‘down there’ ache with pain; all sorts of things inside, like round ligaments — or so I’m told — hurt like hell when I move around and sometimes when I don’t; it’s become difficult to put on things like, say, pants, or turn over in bed because of all of the disturbance to aforementioned parts.
• People are funny about pregnancy in ways I didn’t really realize. There have been no attempts to touch my belly without my permission, but a friend recently began preaching the greatness of breastfeeding to me in a way that made me wonder if she thought I was braindead and had never before heard of the concept. Most friends, though, have been great and encouraged me to name the baby whatever we want, try out having baby sleep in our room or in her own space, breastfeed for as long as it does not drive me crazy and, generally, to try not to worry so much. I’m very grateful for them.
• Everyone is so generous. Our family and friends have been so generous and understanding — from throwing a million and one great showers to offering babysitting services to understanding when we cancel plans at the last minute because some sort of ailment has overtaken any drive I had to leave the house.
• Fatigue. Holy smokes. I wonder if this is worse because I’m elderly, but this ‘with child’ thing has led me to be more tired than anything else I can remember. Between all of the aches and pains and wheezing, sleeping has been harder than it used to be, but I give it the old college try and insist that it happen. And while I suppose the second trimester was better in this regard than the first, I never really felt that ‘second wind’ of energy so often promised by books. See bullet point one.
• I like ice cream. I knew this before, of course, but I think I like it more than I realized. It’s so good.