a blog for kate and gracie and friends
I have so much work to do. A ton of work to get done before we go on vacation (!!!) next week. It is kind of making me queasy to think about how it will all get done.
But I can’t do it.
I can’t concentrate.
I’m going crazy.
Where in the F&^$#$#(*))^$#*@#!&* is that F*&%#!@&*%@!ing plane!?!?!?!?!?
Cue venting. Why does everything have to meet on the second ____ of the month? Who started this tradition and why? I would like some variety. I have come to loathe the second week of any given month. Even when it’s fun things. Currently, my transit meetings, union meetings, committee meetings and quilting class all occur on the second something of the month. I’ve had it. That’s all. Thank you for your time.
Well, this is certainly something.
Also, who’s watching True Detective?! I cannot believe they’re going to wrap all this up in just one more hour. I suppose maybe they won’t ‘wrap it all up,’ but I’ll be pretty annoyed if there aren’t some concrete answers. I think there will be. I’m just far from sure what they are.
Molly turns 2 on Sunday. It’s crazy! And it’s also awesome. I sometimes miss holding her like a baby and I sometimes miss her sleeping on my chest, but no part of me actually wishes she were a baby again. I love that she’s talking and making jokes and laughing and playing and running and jumping and everything that she does now. Most of all, though, I love that we interact now in a way that feels reciprocal. I don’t always know what she’s saying or what she’s asking me for, and I feel bad that that frustrates her, but for the most part our experiences with each other offer so much tangible connection that these frustrating moments feel like small crosses to bear. In comparison to her time as a baby, there’s no question. When she was a baby, I never felt anything close to the connection I feel to her now. I felt like I gave and gave and gave and she took and took and took. I worry that this sounds selfish, as if I only feel so close to her now because she reciprocates, but it’s true. I don’t think it’d be possible to be a truly loving parent if there weren’t some pay back. At least I couldn’t be one. The pay back now is immeasurable. I feel like sometimes it’s even more gratifying because the beginning was so hard. It’s now that I understand why people do this again and again.
When I read this today, I cried. I knew I wasn’t alone in my thoughts, but I think he’s right that it’s not talked about enough. I’m not sure it can be talked about enough. Those first three months, at a minimum, are pretty damn brutal. But then you get a deeper love than you knew was possible. And it’s awesome.
I just watched the documentary Park Avenue: Money, Power & the American Dream and I highly recommended it. It’s not really anything you didn’t know, but it’s a succinct and accurate and depressing and clear portrait of the incredibly scary and sad current state of the vast income inequality in this country. The movie really brought it all home – and socked it to me emotionally – when it concluded the union-busting we all know so well is at the heart of a lot of this disparity. I took a photo of the final frame for you. I’m sure you’ll find it shocking.
